Photo by kevin laminto / Unsplash
A couple weeks ago, I finally found my tribe– if you haven't listened to the Girls Gotta Eat podcast, you need to hop on that train REAL quick. I'm convinced they're my soulmates and it's very easy listening.
They talk mostly about dating, relationships, sexcapades and last Fall, they brought on a matchmaker who discussed the importance of finding compatible love language over finding a man 6'3" or taller. Why is 6'3" the hottest thing on the planet and why is this on a good chunk of our must-have lists? Maybe it's primal or maybe we're just assholes, albeit the later.
SO, there are five "love languages" founded by Gary Chapman. You have one primary language, but you can score high in others.
Essentially, we all give, and need to receive, love differently. I don't know how I'm just learning this at 29. Anyway, the matchmaker on the show, Maria Avgitidis Pyrgiotakis, (and just when I thought I couldn't love her anymore, she's Greek..) brought up something I think we can all relate to.
We get out of a less than amazing relationship and find someone new and shiny. We tell all our friends about them and say things like "He/she is SO different than my loser ex-boyfriend". This is a nod to a more suitable love language. Makes too much sense.
01. Words of Affirmation
Verbal compliments. "You're pretty/smart/cool" and "I'm proud of you" likely make you happy.
02. Quality Time
Conversation or adventure, it's all the same, as long as it's one-on-one time away from screens.
03. Receiving Gifts
You like tangible things– card, a handbag, roller skates etc.
04. Acts of Service
You need a mind reader. You like your partner to do things, you don't necessarily say out loud.
Your biggest fantasy is to come home after a stressful day of work only to find a new toothbrush sitting in your bathroom to replace your old, SAD, SAD-looking toothbrush– that's been on your to-do list for what seems like eternity.
05. Physical Touch
You're that couple that sits on the same side at a restaurant.
Regrettably, I had a ex who was a Words of Affirmation person. I'm a Gift Giving and Acts of Service person. He took my lack of "You're so hot" as "I don't love you", which, it turns out I didn't, but that's neither here nor there.
I do things for people or give them stuff. That's how you know I like you.
Context: My boyfriends three favorite things are computers, Star Wars and cats. So, when we first started dating, I painted Darth Vader holding a cat. I later learned this freaked him out, but then again, he also hates Christmas because, presents, so I think this may be larger than a painting.
More context: I lose all my things, all the time. I can never find anything [though, work life is very organized] like my card for the train. On one hand, he's grown tired of my bullshit and having to wait around until I find it, but this is also where he truly shines.
What does he do? Orders me a key-chain thing to keep in my purse so I don't even have to get it out to I pay. Therefore, the only way to lose my card, is to lose my ENTIRE purse. I wish I could say this has never happened, but [after the age of 21] so far so good. Can you guess what he is!?
He's an Acts of Service person so that makes us more compatible on the love language front.
Super interesting stuff. Enough about me– I'd love to hear about how you! Comment down below : )
If you're into astrology, here are the love languages for each sign. This is likely more connected to your Venus, than your sun. I'd also check out your rising and moon. If you download the co-star app we can be best friends and I can stalk your transits (obviously not sponsed)-- HOW FUN!
I'm a Cancer sun, Leo Mars, Venus and Rising, Libra Moon. Apparently, I really like presents.
Aries: Words of Affirmation
Taurus: Receiving Gifts
Gemini: Physical Touch
Cancer: Quality Time
Leo: Gifts & Words of Affirmation
Virgo: Acts of Service
Libra: Receiving Gifts
Scorpio: Physical touch
Sagittarius: Quality Time
Capricorn: Receiving Gifts
Pisces: Acts of Service
From Elite Daily - Also, BIG thanks for reminding me how necessary gifs are.